Emotional Based School Avoidance (EBSA) refers to a child’s refusal to attend school due to severe emotional distress. This avoidance is not simply about disliking school; it’s often rooted in deep-seated anxieties or emotional challenges. Understanding EBSA is crucial for parents, educators, and mental health professionals as it requires a compassionate and strategic approach to address effectively.
Every parent faces challenges when it comes to their child’s education, but some find themselves dealing with a particularly distressing phenomenon known as school refusal. This behaviour can take a toll on both the child and the parents, sometimes escalating to the point where children exhibit aggressive behaviours. In this blog post, we will explore the complexities of school refusal and offer insights into managing the associated challenges.
What do we mean by school refusal?
School refusal is not a simple case of truancy; it involves a persistent and often intense reluctance to attend school. Children experiencing school refusal may express anxiety, fear, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches when faced with the prospect of going to school. Identifying the root cause is crucial, as school refusal can stem from various issues including (but not limited to) bullying, academic struggles, or social anxiety.
Recognising the Signs:
Emotional Withdrawal: Children may become emotionally withdrawn, exhibiting signs of sadness or frustration. They might isolate themselves from friends and family.
Physical Complaints: Frequent complaints of physical ailments, such as headaches or stomach aches, can be indicative of an underlying issue causing school refusal.
Changes in Behaviour: Drastic changes in behaviour, such as increased irritability or aggression may become apparent, especially when the subject of school is brought up.
Understanding Aggressive Outbursts
In some cases, school refusal can escalate to the point where children exhibit aggressive behaviours towards their parents. If there is an intense fear or anxiety around attending school, this can trigger the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response, resulting in aggressive outbursts. It’s crucial to approach this issue with empathy and a desire to understand rather than placing blame.
Expression of Frustration: Aggressive behaviour may be an expression of frustration and an inability to communicate their emotions effectively. It is also important to remember that anger is often a ‘tip of the iceberg’ emotion and that there are other underlying difficult emotions your child may be struggling with. Encouraging open dialogue can help identify the root causes.
Seeking Professional Help: Engaging with mental health professionals can provide valuable insights into the underlying issues contributing to both school refusal and aggressive behaviour.
Managing School Refusal
Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their feelings. Encourage open conversations about their concerns regarding school. Validate your child’s difficulties or fears, don’t diminish their concerns or tell them not to worry or ‘just get on with it’ or promise ‘it will be fine’.
Collaborate with School: Work closely with teachers and school counsellors to address any academic or social issues contributing to your child’s reluctance to attend school.
Gradual Exposure: Gradually expose your child to the school environment in manageable doses. This could involve short visits or spending time in school, but outside the mainstream classroom environment before attending full classes.
Positive Reinforcement: Recognise and reward small achievements related to attending school. Positive reinforcement can help reshape their perception of school as a safe and supportive environment.
In some cases parents look for different options for their child, to remove the stress of going into school. Homeschooling could be an alternative for families, perhaps in cases where their child has sensory needs or sensitivities that make the school environment untenable. In such cases, traditional school environments might exacerbate the child’s anxieties or difficulties, hindering their academic progress and emotional well-being. Homeschooling allows for personalised learning plans tailored to the child’s pace, interests, and specific needs, but is not an easy solution as so many other factors need to be in place for it to work.
School refusal is a challenging issue that requires patience, understanding, and proactive intervention. By recognising the signs, understanding the potential for aggressive behaviours and actively addressing the underlying causes, parents can navigate this complex issue with empathy and support. Seeking support from an organisation who can advise on methods to try and facilitate different, more helpful ways to communicate can be hugely beneficial. We know from experience it can often be hard to see the wood from the trees, and often talking through issues can help you reflect and provide insight which can be the first step towards helping your child overcome school refusal and fostering a positive relationship with education.
You might also find this post on easing back to school transitions helpful.
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