Supporting Your Child Through Exam Stress and managing any aggressive or harmful behaviours is vital, this guide shares some strategies you can use with your child to help them through this tricky time.
Understanding the Pressure
Exams like GCSEs and A-levels are significant milestones in a young person’s academic journey, even year 6 SATs and mid year tests can be very stressful for many children. The pressure to perform well can be immense, often leading to heightened stress and anxiety. For some, this stress manifests as aggression or harmful behaviour towards their parents. As a parent, understanding this dynamic is crucial for providing effective support.
Recognising the Signs of Stress
Before delving into strategies to help your child, it’s essential to recognise the signs of stress that may cause aggressive behaviour. These can include:
- Irritability and Mood Swings:
- Withdrawal: They might withdraw from activities or isolate themselves.
- Changes in Eating or Sleeping Patterns:
- Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomach aches, or other unexplained physical complaints.
- School refusal
Strategies for Managing Aggression
When a child’s stress manifests as aggression and/or harmful behaviour, it’s important to respond with empathy and calmness. Here are some strategies you can try to manage these situations:
Validation
Responding to aggression with anger or frustration can escalate the situation, even if you feel stressed and annoyed. Acknowledging the difficulty with a simple statement can help.
- “I can only imagine how much of a tough time it is”
- “It seems really exhausting”
- “Exams are so stressful”
Open Lines of Communication
Sometimes, just having someone listen to their troubles can alleviate stress. Ask open-ended questions and combine them with validation,
- “It is exhausting, how can I help you feel more supported?”
- “Exams are a really stressful time, Is there anything I can help you with”
- “It seems really tough, if you need anything let me know”.
Be clear about what is acceptable behaviour
While it’s important to be understanding, it’s also crucial to set clear boundaries about acceptable behaviour. Explain that while it’s understandable to feel stressed, aggression or harmful actions are not acceptable. Discuss and prioritise healthy ways to unwind and destress. Equally, ensure you model positive stress management.
Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Help your child find healthy ways to cope with stress. Encourage exercise and getting outside where possible, and ensure there are healthy snacks available. Create a positive ‘time out’ from the stress of studying ie movie & pizza night or a night with friends.
Long-Term Support Strategies
Beyond immediate responses to aggressive behaviour, consider implementing long-term strategies to support your child through the exam period:
Create a Study Plan together
Some teenagers may need help in creating a realistic study plan. Breaking down their time into manageable chunks can make the workload feel less overwhelming and provide a sense of control – make sure to add breaks and ‘downtime’ and stick to them.
Ensure a Balanced Lifestyle
Encourage a balance between study and relaxation. Getting enough sleep, nutrition, and physical activity are crucial for maintaining mental health and managing stress.
Seek Professional Help
If your child’s aggression persists or escalates, it might be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists or counsellors can provide strategies to manage stress and address underlying issues contributing to their behaviour. We at Capa First Response can help when your child is displaying harmful and/or aggressive behaviours towards you.
Promote Positive Self-Talk
Help your child develop a positive mindset towards their exams. Remind them that their worth is not determined by their grades and that it’s okay to make mistakes and ask for help.
Being There for Your Child
Supporting a young person through the stresses of GCSEs or A-levels or other exams is challenging, especially when their stress turns into aggression. By staying calm, maintaining open communication, setting boundaries, and encouraging healthy coping mechanisms, you can help your child navigate this difficult period.
Remember, your support can make a significant difference. While it’s natural to feel concerned or upset by your child’s aggression, approaching the situation with empathy and patience will foster a more positive and supportive environment for them to thrive academically and emotionally. When your child feels more balanced, they are more able to think clearly and be at their best.
Provide a Safe Space
Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their emotions without fear of judgement. This might involve setting aside a specific time each day to check in with them or creating a specific zone in the house where they can relax away from revision books.
